Summer seems to have ended, marked by 4 days of cold rain. Dunedin houses are not well built and most are uninsulated, making for a chilly, damp house. Here is an ode to our own house...
Oh House!
My cold, cold house!
You welcome in the Arctic winds
With paper-thin plywood walls and no insulation
Doors with breezy gaps and windows that rattle
A house with one heat source that only warms the living room
leaving the bedrooms freezing
My ridiculous, impractical house!
Without a vent for a clothes dryer
or an electrical outlet in the bathroom
With a stovetop positioned in a corner that requires advanced yoga to use
A house that once locked from the inside, can only be unlocked with keys
making a quick escape impossible
My cheap, unattractive house!
With textured wallpaper in appalling colors
Curtains from unwanted fabric in the remnant pile
Gaps and uneven lines in the woodwork
A house with shoddy cabinets, plastic counter tops, unsecured faucets and mismatching carpet
Oh House!
An incompetent contractor built you
without using levels, T-squares, or chalk lines
He was not aware that kitchen cabinets and refrigerator doors need to fully open
in order to function properly
An incompetent contractor who forgot to put the bathroom doors back on their hinges
Who left behind pipes that drip, wood scraps in the backyard
and carpet tacks sticking up through the carpet for bare feet to find
Oh dreadful House!
I see your mates all over Dunedin
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