Extra, Extra! Read All About It!

Just for fun, here is a sampling of recent New Zealand headlines:

Winning Cherry Pip Spitter Reveals his Secrets
(Finally! I've been trying to figure out his secrets for years!)

Frog Ambassador Pays Visit
(From the country of Frog?)

Crowds Turn Out to See Damn Spills
(They do say three's a crowd)

Idea of a Pet Cemetery is Being Considered
(NIMBY)

School Garden Now Bunny-Proof
(Phew! I was getting so worried)

Girl Wins Model Aircraft Hat Trick
(Darn, I was perfecting my model submarine toe-flip kick)

Success for 71-year old Power Lifter
(You think Viagara had anything to do with it?)

Ban on Israelis Opposed
(Extreme Protest-the newest extreme sport to be introduced in the adventure capitol of the world)

Nerds Come to the Rescue
(What exactly were they rescuing...lost pocket protectors?)

Woman Catches Neighbor Going Through Underwear
(A knicker snatcher!)

Qualified Embalmer Back in Business
(You mean there was an un-qualified embalmer doing business at some point?)

Gifted Shooter Wins NZ Deerstalking Association Award
(Apparently it was a slow day in the newsroom...)

Department Of Conservation Arms Bats Against Rats
(What, with teeny tiny snap traps and cans of poison?)

Lego Olympics Spawn Lego Fever in NZ
(On your mark, get set, LEGO!)

French Horn Fun for Family
(This one time, at Band Camp....)

Cash for Bald Head Billboards
(No joke, Air New Zealand wanted to temporarily tattoo heads for new advertisements)

Lizards Not at Risk From Wind Farms
(Referring to those lizards flying in V-formation?)

Skater Boobs on Ice
(Video included!)

Goodbye Bush
(A new add for Veet hair removal product. BRILLIANT!)

New Zealanders Apply to Test Condoms
(Crickey Dick!)