Starring America

I haven’t owned a TV in years and I find very few merits in watching television. Call me a TV snob but I’d rather read. Besides, cable is expensive, I loathe commercials, I watch movies on my laptop, and most of the HBO, Discovery or History channel shows that I like can be found on DVD. But now that I’m millions of miles from home and am the proud owner of a TV, I can’t help but feel nostalgic for some good ol’American entertainment. Even if this means watching shows that I would never watch back home (or at least admit to watching). There’s something about hearing the American accent, seeing American cities and landscapes, laughing along to American humor, laughing at American stupidity….It’s like going home without the plan ticket!

Our huge Soviet-era TV only gets 6 to 8 channels, depending on the angle of the rusty wire antenna, but many American TV shows are popular here, especially reality shows. Apparently Beauty and the Geek was a huge hit, as is The Girls Next Door (c’mon, it’s Playboy). Other shows that we’ve seen include Extreme Home Makeover, Fear Factor, America’s Next Top Model, Survivor, and My Super Sweet Sixteen (seriously, where do they find those kids? Oh yeah, America…). Other shows that are popular with Kiwis are Lost, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Scrubs and Seinfeld.

It’s quite unsettling to watch these shows and think, “Wow! This is how Americans are represented to those living outside the U.S. No wonder everyone thinks we’re crazy!” We come across as spoiled, immoral, greedy, un-educated, un-healthy, plastic surgery-obsessed, and aggressive. Ouch. But it’s entertainment and for 30 minutes I can lose myself in the silliness of American life.

Once in a while we even catch a movie on the basic channels. Most of these films don’t improve our image much but they sure are fun. We’ve seen some real gems of American cinema. These include:

The Day After Tomorrow-Might have been good on the big screen with all the special effects. Although, any movie that combines the science of climate change, rabid wolves, and Dennis Quaid is skating on thin ice.

Alien vs. Predator-This one has it all: big guns, the brave female, the complicated foreigner, the amnesiac old man, ancient mythology, shamefully bad dialogue, and dripping slime. We miss you Sigourney and Arnold!

Failure to Launch-Two words: Matthew McConaughey. Three words: Straight to video.

P.S. Kiwi shows aren't any better, but I'll save that for another day.